Just imagine how much more productive your life could be if not only me and you read and followed these principles, but everyone. Oh wait, I'm not sure if our current society is ready. That would require losing the all powerful yet suffocating human virus. It's called EGO.
Ego causes us to go into isolation.
Really.
Think of the know-it-all, or "too proud to ask" person, or simply the "ego-maniac" they always paint themselves in a corner. They get themselves into a lose-lose situation. And worst of all, by the time they figure out this whole EGO thing they have already isolated themselves from things or people that mean a lot to them.
HOW TO WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING
PRINCIPLE 1: The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
*You can't win an argument.
*A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.
*If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; But it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent's good will.
*Welcome the disagreement.
"When two partners always agree, one of them is not necessary."
*Distrust your first instinctive impression when entering a disagreeable situation.
*Control your temper.
*Listen first.
*Build bridges of understanding.
*Don't build higher barriers of misunderstanding.
*Look for areas of agreement.
*Be honest.
*Apologize for your mistakes.
*Promise to think over your opponent's ideas and study them carefully.
And mean it.
*Thank your opponent sincerely for their interest.
*Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem.
PRINCIPLE 2: Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."
*A sure fire way of making enemies—and how to avoid it.
"Men must be taught as if you taught them not and things unknown proposed as things forgot." –Alexander Pope
"You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it within himself." -- Galileo
"Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so."
-- Lord Chesterfield
"One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing." – Socrates
PRINCIPLE 3: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
*If you're wrong admit it.
PRINCIPLE 4: Begin in a friendly way.
*A drop of honey.
"A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall." – Lincoln
"The sun can make you take off your coat more quickly than the wind; and kindliness, the friendly approach and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the bluster and storming in the world." – Aesop
PRINCIPLE 5: Get the other person saying, "Yes, yes" immediately.
*The secret of Socrates
"He who treads softly goes far." – Chinese Proverb
PRINCIPLE 6: Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
*The safety valve in handling complaints.
PRINCIPLE 7: Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
*How to get cooperation.
"The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. Thus they are able to reign over all the mountain streams. So the sage, wishing to be above men, putteth himself below them; Wishing to be before them, he putteth himself behind them. Thus, though his place be above men, they do not feel his weight, though his place be before them, they do not count it an injury." – Lao-Tse
PRINCIPLE 8: Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
*A formula that will wonders for you.
PRINCIPLE 9: Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
*What everybody wants.
PRINCIPLE 10: Appeal to the nobler motives.
*An appeal that everybody likes.
PRINCIPLE 11: Dramatize your ideas.
*The movies do it; TV does it, why don't you do it.
PRINCIPLE 12: Throw down a challenge.
*When nothing else works, try this.
*Give people the chance for self-expression- to excel- to win. The desire for a feeling of importance brings out the best in people.
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